Happy Wednesday to You!
Its beautiful here in Heaven today and I can feel the shift in the seasons with the cooler mornings but still warm days. The bees are very active now that it isn’t quite as hot as the past month.
I hope you enjoyed my most recent vlog series, How To Survive In A Modern World (Pt. 1 – 6). I’ve been getting great feeback from clients and students and hope that you will share with your clients, friends and family as well.
I will begin my next series, The I-WE-ALL Of Healthy Relationships either this Friday or next Monday depending on my schedule. In my new vlog series, I will share my views and experiences of how healthy relationships are created and maintained, and I will address a number of common misunderstandings and challenges in relationships and will offer a variety of practical approaches that I teach my PPS Success Mastery students.
If you’d like to get started with some good relationship healing right away, I recommend considering PPS Success Mastery Lessons 1-3, which covers the basics we all must learn if we desire a rewarding life experience with self and others.
Lyme Less Live More!
Brent Martin and Dana Walsh have done an awesome job sharing a tremendous amount of practical information to help people recover holistically from Lyme’s Disease, a challenge he and Dana know intimately.
They recently visited me here at my Heaven House to do a film interview with me as a contributor to their program, which contains a wide variety of experts on healing from this challenging disease.
Their program offering is really amazing. You can watch a tremendous amount of informative video for free, and you can opt in to buy the whole package to get the complete, holistic picture: go to www.lymelesslivemore.com
Here is a sample of my interview for you to view:
In the video clip above, you can get a little sneak preview of my interview with Brent and Dana. I hope you enjoy it. The actual interview goes nicely into some of my views on how to take advantage of a disease state and use it as a fantastic growth opportunity. I hope you enjoy visiting and exploring Brent and Dana’s beautiful site and offering!
Love More!
What would life be like without love?
Could you know what love is if you were the only person here on planet earth?
Love is a word that paradoxically, everyone generally has an idea of, but very few people’s love models parallel, leading to untold numbers of challenges in relationships.
The challenges love brings us are pretty obvious from our day-to-day interactions with individuals, such as loved ones, family members, and co-workers, not to mention the larger love issues of societies that are essentially expressed in and as politics.
I have explored and meditated on love issues extensively. Oddly enough, it is my job to understand love and I have had plenty of time to explore and experience the challenges love brings while coaching countless people through the challenges of entangled love relationships; they range from love of substances such as food and drugs, or love challenges with work and other people.
I have synthesized the common love challenges that lead to issues such as obesity, addiction and disease in my audio/workbook program titled, The 1-2-3-4 For Overcoming Addiction, Obesity and Disease for those of you that would like to take advantage of my life’s work in this area.
Interestingly, “love” shares a very common relationship with “mind” when it comes to actually understanding the meanings of the words.
In Daniel Siegel, MD’s books and audio books, he refers to the fact that as a psychiatrist who’s attended countless meetings and trainings on issues of the mind, he was unable to find anyone who could effectively define what the mind is!
[amazon-product]0553386395[/amazon-product]
[amazon-product]146250390X[/amazon-product]
Siegel rightly shares that this would be like going to a legal conference where no one has a clear definition of what “law” means or something akin to that.
The dictionary defines love as:
a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests
b : an assurance of affection
2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration
b (1) : a beloved person : darling —often used as a term of endearment (2) British —used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others
b : a person’s adoration of God
5: a god or personification of love
6: an amorous episode : love affair
7: the sexual embrace : copulation
8: a score of zero (as in tennis)
9: capitalized Christian Science : GOD
It is interesting to note that these definitions, which are pretty much the same in most dictionaries, are not actually describing what “love is”. They are describing experiences we commonly associate with our social or cultural concepts of love.
To help psychiatrists, healthcare professionals and people at large, Dr. Siegel has defined mind as:
“An embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information”.
I feel this definition of mind is essential to understanding what love is because just as our mind is akin to a neuron in a cosmic or universal mind, love is a word that describes what is happening “in mind” and how. This is the definition I teach my students.
Inspired by Dr. Siegel’s definition of mind, I could find no better description of what love actually is than to create a definition that parallels that of mind. I therefore define love as:
The flow of energy and information through connection.
We are all aware that when we feel loved, there is an “energy presence” that accompanies the experience. That energy presence can range wildly in our love relationships with self and others.
Some people’s love can be cold and distant, while with others, it can be lots of hugs, kisses, and may be expressed through frequent and open communications.
When we love others, or ourselves we are sharing both energy, and information. The energy acts as a carrier of the information, and the energy can be a source of information in-and-of itself. Some may express their love by grabbing your butt, others by giving gifts or support.
Love challenges often emerge when the person receiving our love has different values, and therefore ideas and expectations as to what love is to them.
We can feel shocked, confused or dismayed at anothers response to our expressions of love once we make connection and they respond to our energy and information.
In my video series titled “10 Commandments or Spirituality – You Choose” I give a more in-depth explanation as to what I feel love is, and show how the word “LOVE” carries the meaning of love encoded within itself.
Love TIP:
In my experience coaching people through love challenges, I’ve found that it is exceedingly rare for any two people to actually know what love means to the other person they are in relationship with.
I start my coaching in such instances by encouraging each party to answer these two essential questions:
1. What is it that I can offer you that feels loving to you?
2. I feel loved by you when you?
You may be amazingly surprised to find that what you thought was an expression of love to someone, such as your spouse, isn’t what makes them feel loved. In fact, it may feel like a chore to have to engage in being loved that way.
Many, if not most men, for example, feel as though they are sharing love with their partners when making love to them (having sex). Just as many are often shocked to find that their partners often don’t feel loved when having sex. They commonly feel that this act is an act of peace, or a peace treaty of sorts, but often have a list of ways that they would prefer to be loved.
Women often feel they are expressing love to their partners when they are caring for them, cooking, cleaning, raising children. They are often in pain when they don’t feel love, respect and reciprocity being returned for their efforts, all the while, their men are often confused and make comments like, “But honey, aren’t you feeling loved when I have sex with you in the morning?”
I always brace myself for the wife/partner’s reaction because I know from personal experience how shocking a realization it can be for a man to find out that his penis no longer hold Cupid’s power!
When we take the time to learn what makes others feel loved, and clarify what makes us feel loved in any personal, professional, or spiritual relationship, we are well on the way to both determining if we are compatible in love relationships, and greatly improving our subtle and direct communications.
Have a great day exploring love and enjoying your life today!
Love and chi,
Paul Chek
